1. Pick up a random object when someone is nearby and start to talk into it as if on the phone.
2. While in a condom aisle with a man nearby shout out to him "Hun, you want the Platinum again?"
3. Go up to a stranger and ask them what year it is. When you receive the answer act shocked and run away.
4. Hang "out of order" signs on things that can't be out of order.
5. While in a car with a friend, roll your windows down at a stop light and start to yell at each other. Then while people in nearby cars are looking have your friend act like they backhand you and start to cry.
6. When money comes out of the ATM scream "I WON!!"
7. Randomly blurt out "No, I will not make out with you" to innocent standbys.
8. Act as though you're applying lipstick, but use a tampon.
9. Ask random women on the street if they're your mommy.
10. Tell people you gave up wiping for Lent.
11. Put an embarrassing note in the lunch box of your lover; however, write it with a Sharpie in large letters so that anyone near can read through the paper.
12. Text message a friend at an odd hour in the night saying "you look peaceful when you sleep."
13. When in an elevator with only one other person, get as close as possible to them.
14. Go to children's story time at a library, but don't bring a child.
15. When checking out at a store, pay with your gym membership card.
16. Do interpretive dance in a crowded area with no music.
17. Treat inanimate objects like they're human.
18. Randomly laugh for no reason.
19. When out to eat at a restaurant, raise your hand and snap to get a server's attention.
20. Have friends over for dinner and serve cereal.
21. Wear headphones without an electronic device attached and bob your head to the "music".
22. Go to the 99 cent store and pay in all pennies.
23. Go around with Hawaiian lays and ask people if they'd like to get "laid".
24. Drink non-alcoholic beer and act like you're getting wasted off of it.
25. Always answer questions that are directed at you with "we".
26. Talk in third person.
27. While in the shampoo aisle, pretend to be the woman in the Herbal Essence commercials.
28. Dress in costume for no reason.
29. Sit in at the library's "Kid Reading Time". Without a kid.
30. Go to Subway and ask for specific amounts of toppings...ie...I would like two pieces of bell pepper, 1 pickle, 6 shreds of lettuce...
2 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I am so glad you decided to post this. I'm sitting in Starbucks LITERALLY LOLing. Love you!!!
I just reread this list...and realized I put one twice. I've thought of others since this though. Maybe I should write a part two. Though, I think you're the only one who gets a kick out of my creative dysfunction.
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